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Blogs > Nick & Jen at Breakfast > May 2012 May 2012A Memo from the Damaging Director31st May 2012 Before I start I must warn you that I am full of it today just ask Sally and Jo in the office who have had to sit and tell me their favourite bits of MY show this morning. Then I re-enacted them. The ego has landed. So the Breakfast show is very much like TOWIE. The people are real but some scenes are created for your entertainment. Now today Stu from Sales was due to perform his forfeit song ‘Summer of Love’ by Steps. This was because Stu did the worst on the Weds Weigh off yesterday. However just before he was about to sing his little heart out I got this email from Sarah the Big Bad Boss:
MEMO To: Nicholas ‘Pressure’ Hancock From: Sarah Jane Barry, Damaging Director Nicholas – firstly I would like to reassure you there will be no fuss for your birthday tomorrow. I have spent the budget for your cake and candles on a new colouring in book for the News Team. Now the point of this memorandum – I would like to make you an offer.... As you know I have not been a fan of your singing on the radio recently. I am deeply concerned about the listening figures. So if Stu does not sing on the radio I will put the Secret Sound jackpot up to one thousand pounds to celebrate the Jubilee weekend. As you know I have spent this quarter’s profit on bunting for the radio station and I am a big fan of Corgis. Let me know how you wish to proceed. Yours Your Leader.
Well I bit her hand off....so you can win lots of money tomorrow at 8.05am. Yay. Oh we did manage a bit of singing on the show today thanks to Lesley in Harrogate or as call her Kiki Dee.
Have a nice day now,
Nick. Posted by Nick at 10:37am We are attempting a radio first a Breakfast show in the afternoon29th May 2012 So Jen has only been gone for a day and already things are going pear-shaped.... I’ve upset the good folk of Wetherby by suggesting a lack of community spirit – please note that following a number of complaints and a legal looking letter I have retracted that comment and put a picture on my twitter page of some lovely bunting in Wetherby. It gets worse....tomorrow Gav and I are being taken off the Breakfast show. We will be on air from 2pm instead. Now I’m pretending this is bad news. In fact it is fantastic. I get a lie in, I’ll have Breakfast with my wife for the first time in ages and I can give her a lift to work. The only downside is that I am then going for a meeting with my Bank Manager to set up a joint account. Without Jen’s control on the show I have given far too much away on air today. So this morning I was talking about my expanding overdraft that may or may not have been a little bit bigger than I told my wife. Eek. So have a listen to us in the afternoon tomorrow and see what you think.
I’ll talk to you tomorrow afternoon from 2pm.
Nick Posted by Nick at 12:54pm We are a Diva free zone...now please put some clothes on28th May 2012 So a nice steady week without Jen who is on her holibobs. Now I’m not saying Jen is a massive Diva....but she does demand that Tony our Paperboy irons the Daily Mail before he hand delivers it to her each morning. So none of that this week. This morning just about everyone was in a good mood after a lovely, sunny weekend. We had the good news that ‘They’ are saying it will be sunny for the Jubilee weekend too – whoever ‘They’ are – I’ve no idea. The weather has been brilliant but when it’s hot at home we don’t quite know what to do with it. I was telling caller Debbie this morning that Sarah my missus decided to do the gardening in her swimsuit on Saturday. This is perfectly acceptable when you’re on your jollies Majorca but when you live near a major ‘A’ road as we do it just seems plain wrong. Plus I think Vince my neighbour copped an eyeful. That is going to make all future Neighbourhood watch meetings a tad awkward to say the least. Now then I’m back tomorrow morning with a pair of front row Elton John tickets for you to win at 7.30am. So here is your exclusive blog preview of tomorrow morning’s question: ‘In what year was Elton born?’ Sort your life out, get the answer and get up in time to ring me tomorrow morning.
Enjoy the sun.
Nick. Posted by Nick at 10:42am Nick's gumpy, Elton's poorly and Gav's wearing denim shorts...25th May 2012 Nick’s having trouble sleeping in this hot weather. He’s grumpy and when he gets grumpy he tends to court controversy. This grumpiness manifested itself in Nick telling us that it’s only seven months until Christmas and then playing Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! It’s a good job that complaints don’t bother us much anymore. (The ones written entirely in capital letters really make our day.) Anyway, it’s another beautiful scorcher of a day. If this carries on we could actually have something resembling a bonefide summer this year. Which would be lovely, given the six month winter we’ve had thus far. It’s been reported that poor Elton John has been taken ill with a respiratory infection. We’ll keep you posted on that. Fingers crossed he’ll get well soon and will still be able to visit us in Harrogate next month. In other news, Gav’s wearing shorts today. They are knee length and denim. Yeah, I know. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the sunshine.
Posted by Jennie at 10:24am Funktwonk, Spunkyflank, Tuftybuff...24th May 2012 Englebert Funkytwonk has riled us up, saying that he’ll be supporting Germany in the Eurovision Song Contest. You know, that little known ditty comp that he’s representing us - THE UK, in? The cheek of it! Englebonce Spunkyflank was hardly doing well with us getting behind him in the first place (what with him being a pensioner who hasn’t had a hit single since 1969) but we were prepared to overlook that. Now he’s come out, draped in a German flag, telling all and sundry that he’ll be singing for Germany “especially the German ladies” this Saturday – well, he can kiss goodbye to my support then– paper-thin as it was. ...he does have a lovely smile though, doesn’t he? Oh come here, Engleflank Tuftybuff, you big brute! All is forgiven; just shut up about Germany, at least until after you’ve lost Eurovision for us. Posted by Jennie at 10:21am Olympic Torches and Nick's Delusions of Grandeur...23rd May 2012 Nick’s had a long-burning, deep-seated dream to carry the Olympic torch for all of five minutes. He’s now obsessed with the idea and is thinking of ways that he can get someone to ask him to do it. I've tried to explain to him that there must be a rigid screening process in place. Not just anyone would be allowed to carry Olympic torches. I’ve also explained to him that it’s not the done thing to just turn up on the day that the torch passes through Yorkshire and expect them to let him get his mitts on it. He’s thinking about making his own torch - Blue Peter style, or buying a normal torch from B&Q, and seeing if legging it down Station Parade, holding that aloft, will draw a crowd. (To be fair, it probably would. I'd turn up to watch that for sure.) Oh, it’s good to have him back. Below, audio that proves Nick has delusions of grandeur. See you tomorrow.
Posted by Jennie at 10:51am Intimate Gigs, The Saturdays and Hamster Bottoms...22nd May 2012 James and I are doing The Breakfast Show while Nick’s away at a gruelling two-day Heads of Department meeting. (A photo appeared on Facebook today. It was posted by one of the other Heads of Department at the meeting. It was of chart-topping girl-band The Saturdays, as they performed an intimate gig for the Heads of Department.) Well, the Heads of Department at UKRD might be working their fingers to the bone/getting entertained by The Saturdays, but you’ve got James and I entertaining you with anecdotes about hamster bums. Click on the audio link below for more detail. (And who wouldn’t want more detail about rodent bottoms?) Posted by Jennie at 9:58am The Bee Gees, Local Heroes and Racing for Life...21st May 2012 Nick’s at a HOD (Heads of Department) meeting for the next two days so our James from Hometime is covering for him. We had a good time this morning and the show flew by but it had a somewhat downbeat feel to it because we arrived at work to the sad news that Robin Gibb had succumb to his cancer battle at the age of 62. The news was announced after all the newspapers had gone to print so we broke the news throughout the breakfast show, playing Bee Gees songs in tribute. We also told you all about The Stray FM Local Hero Awards, which took place on Friday night and was a phenomenal success. “Definitely the best yet!” is the general consensus. The photo gallery will be up soon, so keep an eye out for that. The Race for Life took place yesterday, one in Skipton and one in Harrogate - for the first time ever taking place on The Stray. Nick, James and I were there cheering everyone on. It was a fantastic morning and very moving. Well done ladies!
Posted by Jennie at 9:50am Little Ponies and Big Award Ceremonies...18th May 2012 There was a story in the paper today about a woman who appears to be in the grips of a My Little Pony addiction. It started off because she saw one a couple of years ago. It reminded her of the one she had as a child, so she bought it in a fit of nostalgia and now she’s got over a thousand. That’s how addiction starts. You say “just the one My Little Pony for me thanks” and before you know it, you have a house full of little horses. So, Nick and I chatted about the things we collected as kids. There was also an unfortunate incident where I called somebody ‘matey pie’. I can’t explain it. I wish I could. I don't think I've even heard that expression before, much less used it. It’ll catch on though, you just watch. It’s our 7th annual Local Hero Awards tonight; a huge, lavish, black tie ceremony. Nick and I are presenting it and I’m just about to go to the venue to do the rehearsals in preparation. The photographs of everyone in their finest garms will be on our website soon, so keep an eye on the gallery. It’s always an amazing night and it’s so nice to be able to give something back to the people who do so much for the people around them. It’s about to get emotional matey pies. Here’s some audio from this morning’s show. Have a great weekend. Posted by Jennie at 1:01pm Filthy Fiona, Dodgy Dentists and Nick Singing for your Listening Pleasure...17th May 2012 Nick and I had Fiona on the air with us today. She was randomly chosen to be called back to have a guess at The Secret Sound. If you were listening, I only hope that you can forgive us for the filth that came out of that harlot’s mouth. It’s a good job that we could all recover from that experience with the beautiful singing voice of Nick Hancock. (He came off worst in the Wednesday Weigh Off yesterday so this was his forfeit, as chosen by our listeners.) Once again, for your listening pleasure, do click on the audio clip below. Does this man’s talent have no end?
Posted by Jennie at 12:26pm Sculpting the Guns, Being Papped and a Trip to Maccy D's...16th May 2012 Nick and I have been doing some filming at various gyms over the last few days. We’ve been put through our paces by personal trainers for a work related fitness promotion. (Nick wasn’t joking; you literally have to pay him to step foot inside a gym.) It’s been going pretty well though. Nick’s actually an impressively fast runner and I’m deceptively strong, so between us we make up one fit person. It was all going so well until a little post-workout visit to McDonalds was caught on camera by one eagle eyed Stray FM listener - who appears to have been hiding in a bin when they did their dirty work (which is a rather apt place for them to have been). See the incriminating paparazzi-style photographic evidence below. So, today we’ve been papped. Tomorrow - who knows? Maybe Nick’s sex tape will surface. Brace yourself. A rise in celebrity status signals a demise in anonymity. All sorts of things could emerge. Listen again to our Gav breaking his exclusive news scoop to an unsuspecting Nick and Jen this morning:
Posted by Jennie at 11:26am Star Crossed Lovers, Keeping the Faith and Nick's Makeover...15th May 2012 I fell a little bit in love with Simon Amstell last night. He was visiting us as he was doing stand up at Harrogate Theatre. Falling in love with Simon Amstell poses a bit of a problem because he is a gayman and I am a woman. We are star crossed lovers really. It’s all very Romeo and Juliet. I’m not worried though, because according to a fair few Bon Jovi songs; love can overcome any obstacle. So I’ll just keep the faith and wait patiently for true love to run its course... Nick went to the flicks last night to watch American Pie: Reunion. He reckons it’s pretty good. Nick also told us today that he fancies a Shane Warne/Ken Doll style makeover. I think this will necessitate his face being ironed out, some good, strong eyebrows tattooed on, and we’ll need to shoehorn him into a pink deep v jumper and some beige chinos. I’m on it. Posted by Jennie at 12:47pm Simon Amstell, Jen's Taxi Service and Nick's trip to a Fruit and Veg Sex Shop...14th May 2012 Simon Amstell is doing stand up at Harrogate Theatre this evening and I, for one, am very excited about it. I’ve liked the cut of Amstell’s jib for a long time, since the days of Popworld with Miquita Oliver. He hosted Nevermind the Buzzcocks for a few years and managed to do an even better job of it than his predecessor Mark Lamarr. (Amstell said at the time that he hoped to beat “the universal, exceptionless rule that when a new host takes over an old show, it is a horrible, embarrassing disaster.”) Anyway, I'm loving his current show Grandma's House and can’t wait to see him tonight. Will let you know what he’s like tomorrow. Nick’s Mrs is very happy with him because he took her on an outing to a most unusually exotic place at the weekend. Have a listen to the moment Nick had an unfortunate slip of the tongue and the inevitable corpsing that took place afterwards. Poor Gav. He has to put up with a lot doing the breakfast show news bulletins. Posted by Jennie at 1:37pm The Theory of Relativity, Soundchecks and Cheers...11th May 2012
How do? How’s it going? Had another good laugh on the breakfast show with Nick this morning. It flew by, which is always a good sign. Plus it supports the theory of relativity - probably my favourite theory after the one about gravity. The new Stray FM Soundcheck survey is out today, I love doing the Soundcheck surveys. It’s where you get the chance to directly influence the music we play and how often we play it. Get signed up, if you’re not already, at www.strayfm.com and give us your opinions. Check out the audio clip below too for some good bits from this morning. Have a lovely weekend. We’ll catch you again on Monday from 6am. Thanks for listening.
Posted by Jennie at 2:02pm Shonky Reception, Sabotage and Going off the rails...10th May 2012 If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to rile Nick up faster than you can say ‘you look like a cod on a plate’ it’s someone phoning in with shonky mobile phone reception. Well, that’s exactly what Jane did this morning and Nick was not happy about it at all. The show went off the rails pretty rapidly after that. Gav insulted Nick. Nick then sabotaged Gav’s news bulletin and I dissolved into fits of hysterics so severe that Nick had to fade my mic out until I’d composed myself. We chatted about first celebrity crushes this morning. Mine was John Travolta, courtesy of watching the film Grease and Nick’s was Michaela Strachan, courtesy of The Really Wild Show. Nick experimented with putting subliminal messages within the songs we play and we discovered that one of our listeners has an almighty crush on our James from Hometime. Listen, have a great Thursday. Just ignore the rain, it won’t last forever and remember what Dolly Parton said; if you want a rainbow, you’ve gotta put up with a little rain. She is one of my favourite philosophers. Posted by Jennie at 1:30pm Gibberish, A Touch of the Arkwright's and Looking Well...9th May 2012 It’s annoying when you’re live on air, being listened to by millions upon millions of people, and your mouth lets you down. When you open your mouth to speak and an indecipherable noise emerges, sounding nothing like you intended it to. It happens in real life and so it occasionally happens on air too. It ceases to be embarrassing after the hundredth time it happens, which is why I jumped on the opportunity to make fun of Nick this morning when it momentarily happened to him – Nick; such a revered, well respected profesh in the broadcasting world. Even he gets a touch of the Arkwrigtht’s from time to time. (Click on the audio link below for proof that it can happen to the best of us.) In other breakfast show chat today, Nick was in trouble with our Joey from the Stray FM Sales Team. Joey’s just got back from her holibobs and is brimming with health, all glowing, gorgeous, tanned and radiant. When Nick complemented her on her healthy appearance she was not amused. It’s because he complimented her thusly: “Wow Joey, you’re looking well!” Joey took this to mean: “Wow Joey, you’re looking fat!” More from us tomorrow morning from 6am. Have a great day. Posted by Jennie at 11:29am Carnivals, DeLoreans and Buskers Hats...8th May 2012 Hello I hope you had a good bank holiday weekend. Nick and I did, although we were both working over it. Nick at the Ilkley Carnival and I at Bilton Gala. Twas nice. It wasn’t all work though. Nick told us how he spent a lovely afternoon with a load of mates at his village pub over the weekend. He recalled how some guy turned up looking supercool in a DeLorean (the car made famous in the Back to the Future trilogy). Then proceeded to lose all his cool points by not being able to parallel park it. Wounder. Nick’s anecdote of someone trying too hard to be cool reminded me of when my best friend, Stephanie, and I were teenagers. Steph and I were traipsing round town on a Saturday as usual, looking for boys to impress. We spied some nice ones in a crowd gathered round an impressive busker. Steph said “I’m going to walk past them Jen, you let me know if they notice me.” Stephanie proceeded to walk in front of the crowd, accidentally step into the buskers hat, which was on the floor full of coins, and get her foot stuck in it. “Yeah, they noticed you Steph. Good work.” Nick and I did a fair few ‘Cowell Fake Outs’ this morning too. Click on the audio link below for a taster of this morning's show. See you tomorrow. Take it easy. Posted by Jennie at 11:32am Seb the dog and a disgruntled cat...4th May 2012 It’s no secret that Nick prefers Seb, his dog, to his cat – who hasn’t even been given a name. Now, don’t get me wrong, Nick would never mistreat an animal, he is a lovely guy and he takes perfectly good care of the cat, but he displays blatant favouritism towards the dog and I think the cat knows it. The cat is aloof and detached and acts as though he thinks Nick isn’t worthy of being its owner. Well, if you heard the breakfast show this morning, you’d know that the cat’s opinion is understandable. Click on the audio link below to find out why. It’s Friday today and it’s also yet anther bank holiday weekend. So, have a great long weekend and we’ll see you at 6am on Tuesday. Take it easy. And take care of your pets. All of them. Posted by Jennie at 10:22am Adorable Ben, delectable Jen and Nick in a gingham shirt...3rd May 2012
You really missed out today if you didn’t catch little Ben live on air with us.* How cute was he! Ben was on air with us because he’d been picked out to take part in The Secret Sound. During the pre-guess small talk, Ben dropped a cuteness-bomb on Nick and I of such magnitude that it caused us to say “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” (A sound that Nick only usually makes when he’s looking at himself in the mirror.) You can listen to Ben being adorable if you click play on the sound clip below. For some reason Nick thought wearing a red and white gingham shirt was a good idea today. It isn’t a good idea on any day. Not for him and not for anyone. I honestly don’t think that David Beckham, wearing nothing but that shirt, could make it look appealing. If you used that garment as a rag to clean a car with, I‘d feel sorry for the car. Witness the fitness yourself, evident in the photograph below. (Note the 2011 calendar on the wall of his office. Bless!) *I’ve included the audio clip, so you haven’t missed out totally, but I think we can all agree that the USP of radio is that's it's live. So don't rely on me uploading these nuggets of brilliance. You need to listen live, all day, every day, for the rest of your lives, to make sure you don't miss anything.
Posted by Jennie at 12:17pm Sleep deprivation, James Martin and Keeping it Real...2nd May 2012 On a scale of one to ten, I’d say Gav’s sleep deprivation level is a seven today. He freaked out when I casually mentioned something in the paper about those self-serve checkouts at supermarkets. “They deprive cashiers of a job, Jen! I never use them on principle. How do you sleep at night?” Well, clearly better than Gav does at the moment. Nick told me that the famous Yorkshire chef, James Martin, is coming to town soon and that he’s secured me an interview with him. “Great! Cheers Nick ...who is he?” I don’t know who he is because I’ve only just got a TV after about three years of being without one, but apparently James Martin is a pretty big deal in the cookery world. (Whenever I mention that I lived happily without a telly for that long, Nick looks at me like I’ve told him I’ve just drowned a bagful of kittens.) Click on the audio link below – tis a laugh. Have a great day and, whatever you do, keep it real for God’s sake.
Posted by Jennie at 2:35pm Gav, Geeks and Moving On...1st May 2012 Our Gav has come back to work after his two week paternity leave. He was sorely missed, so we’re all very pleased to have him back. Gav’s almost as cool and me and Nick, so it’s good to have another cool one back in our midst because, to be honest, most radio people are geeks. (Geeks that don’t even bother to read an award-winning blog like this.) Our Producer insisted, along with SB The Big Boss Lady, that we should ‘talk more about Gav’s baby because it’s relatable’. So we did. To be fair, we only took this advice because we respect SB. We don’t care too much for what our Producer says. (This is a man who still wears a pager. On his belt. Like he’s proud of it. He also doesn’t believe in the internet.) So we asked you, the listeners, for your advice for Gav, as a brand new, first time parent to little baby Mollie. “Make the most of every moment, they grow up so quickly.” Wrote Sue from Ripon. “Get all the sleep you possibly can.” Advised Mike from Ilkley. “Try to make sure you support your partner. Especially during the early months, being a new mother is so tough, I remember!” Remembered Alison from Skipton. “Cherish each second. Even when they just won’t seem to stop crying. Give them all the love in the world, because they are your world now, and will be forever.” Andrea from Harrogate. “Move on.” Said Sally from our Sales Team.* *For the record: Sally is a formidable, kind, caring, consistently compassionate person. The fact that we can joke with her in this way, without her taking offense, is testament to this. I would hate to think that we’d hurt her feelings because she might stop making us cups of tea.
Posted by Jennie at 1:54pm |
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